The wise way to ask your child questions: 5 parenting tips

It takes skill and lots of practice to ask good questions of children, as well as a commitment to slow down to really listen to what children are telling us, through their non verbal and verbal communication.

Here are 5 strategies to ask good questions

1. Ask one question at a time. Multiple questions at the same time create confusion. A constant barrage of questions is very likely to overwhelm and pressurize children. E.g. Did you come to Singapore on an airplane? Which airline? Did you have a window seat?


2. Avoid too many closed questions. Closed questions limit responses as they often invite short one word answers like ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Closed questions often request specific facts or information. However, it is important to remember that we ask questions to stimulate children’s thinking, to encourage discovery and build interest, not simply to obtain ‘correct’ or predetermined answers.

3. Try not to answer your own questions. E.g. What was on your sandwich? Cheese? Did you like it? Yes? To communicate and connect meaningfully, allow your child to share his or her feelings, understandings and theories. Show that you are genuinely interested to know what he or she thinks, feels and believes.


4. Do not rush your child to provide an answer. Build in thinking time so that your child can reflect and then respond. Encourage your child to consider a question and to think deeply, at his or her own pace. Perhaps he or she needs to reflect on prior experience, talk with others to find out more, reflect on prior experience or even do some research.

5. Look out for non verbal responses as well. Children communicate their ideas in many different ways e.g. drawing, dance and movement, body language. Appreciate and value each and every way your child chooses to express himself or herself.


Read also:

5 strategies to support your child’s questioning skills

How to get your child to listen


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